Beautifully Different

 

Today, a lovely guest at Fernandez & Leluu, Leah Bevington has introduced me to this project: #reverb10 because she read about how much I enjoyed the Creative Writing Courses. This website prompts you to write and reflect on the year and every day it will give prompts of what to write. Here is today’s:

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

I am a week late. Will I complete this task by 31st Dec? I wonder…
Today, I can’t see what is beautiful about me never mind “beautifully different”. I feel like I am the same as every other “normal” sucker for love whose just striving to be loved. But here goes:

I like to make people happy. I love to create a nice environment and engineer a gathering where people can feel really wonderful in.  I suppose that’s why I have created the supper club and made it what it is because I am not afraid of people, I like having people in my house. I love meeting new people and see what they have to bring to the table. Does this make people light up? I hope so.

I just remember those dreadful Russian girls who came by a few weeks ago, they weren’t lit up at all but bought a dark cloud over. Their energies clashed with mine as soon as they sat down and expected something astounding from me that I could not offer. At least, not to them. Sad thing was, they wouldn’t leave when I asked them to because they didn’t feel that my house was my home – that it was some random restaurant.

I love the people I have made friends with and gelled with so well, and some have since become such good friends to me. I might want to carry them along with me all my life. I think that’s what makes me different…because I allow people to be themselves with me because I offer them – me and all I would hope is that they like me too and all my flaws.

I like to do things that make me happy, I love to make things happen and live a life that I would like to take part in. Its almost aristocratic in a sense, I have a certain snobbery to “the norm” as much as I would sometimes like to be normal. Once I feel normal, I get upset about it and once I am not at all normal, I am upset too. Always trying to strive for the right balance and never finding it.

Most of the times, I am such a positive person whose thirsty for life and all that it offers – but what makes me the most “beautifully different” is that I love helping people. If you ask me for help, it’s the most honourable thing and I would gladly help because you asking me to help makes me so happy.

I remember meeting Jayne at the Creative Writing class, and she made me feel really nice when she smiled at me and she was so shocked when I asked her over to my house for dinner. She just didn’t expect that a stranger can be so friendly. I think she was so overwhelmed, she had to decline, because she just didn't know where to place it. But I am not going to give up, I hope to have lunch with her in the New Year.